My mother used to embarrass me all the time—especially when I was an early teen. She had this habit that drove me crazy.
We’d be checking out at the grocery store, and the next thing I knew, she was asking the lady behind her about something in her cart.
We’d be watching a hockey game when suddenly she was in a lively conversation with a couple sitting next to her.
We’d be outside raking leaves. A stranger would walk by, and moments later they were laughing together about who knows what.
All these memories came rushing back when an international property rights organization in Geneva asked me to help their people “spread the word” about the positive impact they were having in emerging countries.
This group is made up of smart, talented people—subject matter experts. Like many organizations, they were siloed too.
They were coming together to better understand each other’s specialties and successes.
Ultimately, leadership wanted them to take what they’d learned and initiate conversations with strangers. And they wanted them to start on their plane or train ride home.
Their hope? That by sharing these stories about the work their organization did, it would create more opportunities to help people who could really benefit from their expertise.
Immediately, I thought of my dad, a mechanical engineer. Nice guy. On his trip home, he would only talk to the person next to him if they started the conversation. Plus, he hated anything that even felt like “selling.”
Amazingly, I just happened to bump into some fascinating research from Chicago Booth, a globally respected business school. It was so relevant to the challenge my client faced.
They asked bus and train commuters in the Chicago area to either strike up a conversation with a person next to them, sit quietly in solitude, or continue their normal routine.
In their study, they found that the people who talked to strangers reported a significantly happier ride than those who kept to themselves. Nobody predicted that would happen.
As you might imagine, I had some ideas too. After observing my mother during those teenage years, I learned how to start conversations. Plus, since moving into a condo eight years ago, I’ve become an expert at talking to strangers in the elevator.
What was my final advice? On your way home after this meeting, ask the person on the plane or train next to you, “Are you heading home?”
If they say, “No. I live here,” then ask, “So are you heading to Madrid (or wherever) for business or pleasure?”
If they say, “Yes,” ask, “So what brought you to Geneva? Business or pleasure?”
Now you’ve got something to talk about. It’s easy. It’s natural. Plus, they’ll reciprocate and ask you questions too. They’ll want to know what you do.
Best of all? You’ll be happier!
Here’s the article: Talk to a Stranger: It’ll Make You Happier.